To focus on how irrational and rational self-talk can be used in common, practical events and situations.
Instructions
- For each situation below, consider how you would feel and what you might say to yourself. Then, write an irrational and a rational belief about each situation.
SITUATION
You have to give a 5-minute speech in your college class (Example)
IRRATIONAL SELF-TALK
- This is terrible. I just cant bear having to give this speech.
TRATIONAL SELF-TALK
This is going to be difficult. I will work hard and be as successful as I can be.
- You didnt meet a very important work deadline.
- A friend cancelled a date with you.
- You are criticized publicly in class or at work.
- Youre having a final exam in your most difficult class.
- You have just had a major blow-up with your fianc/fiance.
- You were laid off from your job. 8. Write your own situation.
Discussion
- Was it easier for you to write the irrational or the rational self-talk and beliefs? Why?
- How many times did you use should, should not, must, ought, have to?
- How many times did you write awfulizing statements?
- How many times did you make overgeneralizations?
- How do you think irrational self-talk contributes to a common situation becoming more stressful?
Full Answer Section
Situation 3: Friend cancels a date
- Irrational Self-Talk: "They don't like me. I'm not good enough to have friends. I'm always alone."
- Rational Self-Talk: "People have busy lives and sometimes plans change. It's disappointing, but it's not the end of the world."
Situation 4: Public criticism
- Irrational Self-Talk: "I'm a terrible person. I'll never live this down."
- Rational Self-Talk: "Everyone makes mistakes. I can learn from this experience and improve in the future."
Situation 5: Final exam in a difficult class
- Irrational Self-Talk: "I'm going to fail this exam. I'm not smart enough. I'm doomed."
- Rational Self-Talk: "I've studied hard, and I'm prepared. I'll do my best, and I'll learn from this experience."
Situation 6: Major argument with a partner
- Irrational Self-Talk: "Our relationship is over. We're never going to work out. I'm a failure at love."
- Rational Self-Talk: "Arguments are normal in relationships. We can work through this and come out stronger."
Situation 7: Job loss
- Irrational Self-Talk: "I'm a failure. I'll never find another job. I'm going to be homeless."
- Rational Self-Talk: "Job loss is a setback, but it's not the end of the world. I'll use this opportunity to reassess my career goals and find a new job."
Situation 8 (Personal Example): Public Speaking Anxiety
- Irrational Self-Talk: "I'm going to stutter and forget what to say. Everyone will think I'm stupid."
- Rational Self-Talk: "Public speaking can be nerve-wracking, but I've prepared well. I'll focus on my message and connect with the audience."
Discussion
- Easier to Write Irrational Self-Talk: It's often easier to fall into negative, self-defeating thoughts. Our minds naturally tend to focus on the negative.
- Use of Negative Words: Irrational self-talk often relies on words like "should," "must," "ought," and "have to." These words create a sense of obligation and pressure.
- Awfulizing: Irrational self-talk tends to exaggerate the negative aspects of a situation, making it seem worse than it actually is.
- Overgeneralization: Irrational self-talk often involves making broad generalizations about oneself or the situation.
- Stressful Situations: Irrational self-talk can exacerbate stress and anxiety, making it more difficult to cope with challenging situations.
By recognizing irrational self-talk and replacing it with rational thoughts, we can improve our mental well-being and manage stress more effectively.